A beginner gets lost in EVE online

It’s been a long time, we shouldna left you

Dave's bought an Amarr shuttle to fit in with the local architecture

Another thing I noticed about EVE is the writing and buttons are really small, like really small, I keep missing text boxes when I go to click on them.  Perhaps I need a bigger monitor?  I’ll put it on the Christmas list.  And what’s this ISIS, it looks cool….(Excuse me.).…oh it visualises what ships you can and can’t control.  Cool.  Controls are much as I remember.  Right click here, hotkey there.  All coming back to me….(Ahem, I said excuse me!  What are you doing?)….I could swear Maxi bought a Myrmidon but there’s none in the hanger here, and an awful lot of money in his wallet ….(HEY!  STOP!  What are you doing?!)….err, sorry, excuse me a second readers.

What do you want?

What the hell are you doing?

I’m blogging….about EVE Online.

Yes, but, I mean, it’s been 18 bloody months!  Where the hell have you been?

Does it matter…

Yes it matters!  You just upped and left!  No calls, no postcards!  

Well…um, sorry about that.  Who are you anyway?

I’m Dave.  Dave the Alt.


OH!  Dave!  Hi Dave, how have you been?  I’m glad you’re here actually, I was wondering why there’s so little money in this wallet, you should have earned billions of ISK by now.

I was frozen out of that wallet and all trading stations when your subscription ran out, I’ve been living on the streets….

There aren’t any streets in space.

…I’m only alive because one of those freed slaves took pity on me and let me share their cardboard box on the Amarr trade warehouse floor.

Eww.  Were they nice?

Yes, lovely, we have 3 kids now.

Bloody hell!  No wonder you look so tired.

It’s ok, though, because you’re back now.  You are back now, aren’t you?

Yes I am!

And you’ll definitely stay this time?

Without doubt!

Can I have my old job back?

What are your skills?


And are you experienced?

Exceptionally, I have a degree in econo…..

Fine!  And can you tell me about a time when you had to deliver a difficult message to a person or group?

Err, I, um, didn’t know this was an interview.

And what would you consider to be your proudest professional achievement?

Well, there was a time when…wait, are you even listening to me?

Great.  You’re hired!  Glad to have you back on board Dave.  One question..


…where is Maxi Foyle?  This blog is meant to be about him after all.

I thought he went into null-sec with you?

Nope, we never got to null-sec in the end.  I remember getting in Queen Maggie to fly to null-sec….he couldn’t get hold of the corporation we were after but I said we should just go to null-sec anyway and then….and then…..screaming….running…..a ginger-mohicaned blur disappeared into a……space pub!  That’s it.  He ran away and hid in a pub instead.

Oh.  Do you think he’s still there?

I would bet my last 100 million ISK on it, but you need it to trade.  Here.  You trade.  I’ll go find Maxi.

Ok.  See you!

In a bit.

Sorry about that readers, where were we?  I’m back in EVE.  That’s some relevant news.  The itch had to be scratched.  I think all the Rubicon news and adverts probably triggered it, not that I’ve ever been deep enough to even notice many of the ‘expansions’ that have come and gone, more that it reminded me there’s another universe parallel to my own that I haven’t visited for a while.  Talking of Rubicon, I do like the look of those new ships they’ve introduced (http://www.eveonline.com/rubicon/features/soe-ships/) they looks proper sci-fi to my eyes, none of this modern grimdark nonsense, more a 70s British TV series version of Sci fi instead.  Ooh, and they’re Covert Ops and Drones focussed, I always wanted to get into Covert Ops.  Will have to look at getting one when the price settles down.


I’ve been reading through Maxi Foyle, Space Drifter’s, past travails as I prepared to kick start his blog again and, do you know what?  I’m pleasantly surprised how far he’s come.  At the time I always felt like he was failing, like he hadn’t really got the EVE Universe.  He always seemed to be scraping by on minimum wage, scratching together a few thousand ISK here and there from hi-sec mining or level 1 or 2 mission agents.  His only real corporation ripped him off.  His only killsheet is an Atron.  A fucking Atron!  At any moment I expected bailiffs to arrive and kick him out of the rather fancy Captains’ Quarters he seemed to have in every station in the galaxy.  But dammit, in only a few months of playing time he got a corporation, beat a vet in PvP, earned over 100mil ISK (with a little help from Dave the Alt), ransacked level 4 missions, and profited from some dare-devil low-sec hauling.  And all in his original skin, no clones defrosted yet thankyouverymuch.

So to give Maxi a little confidence boost when I drag him out of whatever alcohol and drug induced hovel he’s found himself in let me run down the many goals we set over the last 2 stretches of EVE time:

1.  Survive in Null-Sec space – Err. Hmm, ok, haven’t quite acheived goal number 1 yet but… we’ve only had 3 years, come on!  We’ll…come back to that one.

2.  Build up a small fortune: 10,000,000ISK – Well and truly smashed!  Dave is currently reinvesting 100million ISK, whilst Maxi’s wallet has a Myrmidon + fittings shaped 70million ISK spilling out of it.  Minted.

3.  Join a human corporation – Done.  But then undone.  Think this needs to be re-established as a top priority.  Painfully the corp I previously planned to join, RPS Holdings, has since disbanded and looking up old corp-mates they’re all in less noob friendly setups nowadays.  Hmm.

4. Own and run a mining barge – Done!  It’s not quite the Covetor I previously, um, coveted but Maxi spent as much time in the Feisty Pigeon, his rusty hulled Retriever, as anything else in the game.

5.  Get together about 50 million ISK: 20 million ISK  for the ship + 5 million for each strip mining laser and some left over for insurance, because I’m not even leaving the hangar without insurance on this thing  – Yes, alright, I don’t enjoy mining that much.  The Retriever will do nicely.

6.  Learn the 26 skills necessary to pilot the thing!  (This will involve millions of ISK too) – Equally unnecessary in a Covetor-less future.

7. Get some proper PvP kills on his killsheet – Not even attempted this one yet.

So Maxi’s mission statement is clear: He needs a null-sec based, newbie-welcoming, PvP focussed corporation for pleasant walks and candlelit dinners.

Let the search begin.  o7


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