A beginner gets lost in EVE online

Space Jaunting 2.4 – Alternative Solutions

Hi!  You join me just in time, I was just about to introduce Maxi to the new Alt.  I managed to find a Gallente capsuleer fresh out of university with a good mind for trade, so have employed him to run the money side of things while Maxi’s off blowing stuff up and getting blown up.  He’s a bit posh and jowly, but we didn’t hire him for his appearance, he’s here to make Maxi lots of money.  Oh, and I’m not at liberty to tell you his name just in case we’re ever in need of an anonymous alt while Maxi has to lie low following some amazing escapade/embarrassing defeat, so for the purposes of this blog he shall be known as Dave the Alt.

And here he is.  Maxi, meet Dave the Alt.

Dave the anonymous AltDave the Alt: “Good day to you sir, please accept my sincere delight at meeting my new employer.”

Maxi Foyle: “Yeah, hi.  So you’re the new guy?  What experience have you got?”

Dave the Alt: “Oh, I’ve trained for 5 years at university, am level 4 in Trade and level 3, soon to be level 4, in Retail, Mr….”

Maxi Foyle: “Ok, well, here’s skillbooks in accounting and broker relations, get those in your brain and then stop holding up my training queue!  Here’s the keys to my quarters in Amarr, there’s the market, see you later.”

Dave the Alt: “Wait!  But…sir, Mr….  What about… how do I get hold of the HR department?  Where’s the 100 million ISK the man I spoke to on the phone said I would be investing.  How do I book holiday?  I’ve got a wedding to go to in….”

Maxi Foyle: “I’m the HR department, and the cleaner, and your boss and the whole bloody company, you work for me.  You don’t get holiday, not unless this guy goes on holiday and forgets to update your training queue…”

Me: “Hi.”

Maxi Foyle: “…and I spent most of that 100 million ISK on a Myrmidon so you’ve got 30 million ISK to get investing.  And that’s all there is to it.”

Dave the Alt: “Um, ok.  When should I contact you?  What IS your name?  Do you need daily updates?  Do I just keep investing the money I make you?”

Maxi Foyle: “You don’t need to keep contacting me, I trust you, and if you do a runner, I’ll kill you.  Just call me when you’ve made….oooh…..a billion.  I’ll see you then, we’ll celebrate.  OH!  And if the police come by asking after me and mentioning slaves, just tell them you never met anyone by my name and you don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Dave the Alt: “Ok, but what is your name?”

Maxi Foyle: “Not important.”

Dave the Alt: “But how will I know when to lie to the police when they come round asking for you?  I don’t know who YOU are!”

Maxi Foyle: “Oh, right.  Ok.  I’m Maxi.  Maxi Foyle, Space…. oh wait we stopped putting that after my name cause it got boring.  Just call me Maxi.  And forget my name if the police stop by, ok?  See you in a billion.”

Dave the Alt: “But…where will you be?”

Maxi Foyle: “I’ll be blowing shit up.  Laters!”

The starting systems have gotten a lot prettier since Maxi's dayI think I might join him.  Fly safe o7


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