Space Jaunting 2.3 – Post Traumatic Space Disorder
It turns out it takes quite a long time to recover your full cognitive abilities when waking from a long cryogenic sleep. Your memory is the last thing to return. Your oldest and most deeply rooted memories return quickly, but it takes a good week or 2 to recover the most recent memories, experienced just before entering the deep freeze.
Maxi Foyle’s final memories returned to him at approximately 2:47am last night. I know this because he awoke at that time by launching himself out of a deep sleep into a fully, bolt upright seated position and shouted “CRIMPLES!” at 194 decibels before proceeding to sob unrelentingly into his spaceship covered duvet for 4 hours. He’s still not himself now.
Crimples, long time readers will remember, was Maxi’s Cruiser class drone boat and his pride and joy. She was a Vexor gifted to Maxi by the generous Serpentine Logic, an Eve veteran and philanthropist, and she was marvellous. Her final days were something I never got round to blogging about last time round, being as it happened mere days before we knocked EVE on the head for the last year. So as a form of therapy, and a way to bring closure to Maxi, I will recount her last days:
I think when we last updated you on Maxi’s escapades last year we’d mentioned that he’d jumped Corporation after being scammed into providing free mining labour by his old Corp, LPT. The new Corp, LP Manufacturing, was great and contained all the best members of LPT. The only issue was after moving to a new home in the Domain region we soon found ourselves in a turf war with a local Alliance, I assume because we’d moved into their patch, but I never did get any confirmation on why we were at war. Either way, it was a chance for Maxi to try out his freshly learned PvP skills, so when I logged in one Saturday morning to be told something BIG was going down I immediately volunteered Maxi and his best ship, Crimples, to help out.
My memory is a little hazy on exactly why we were doing what we were doing that day but I’m pretty sure the call to arms was because we had located our main rival Corporation’s home station and our Corp’s leaders had come up with a plan to lure our rival’s leaders, and hopefully best ships, away from the base so we could then hit it en masse and rack up a few killsheets with our rivals’ names on them.
As a relative noob in a relatively weak ship Maxi was tasked with kitting Crimples out with a tackling fit and loitering casually in a neighbouring system while we waited for the Go! command from the Corp. So we went and hid in a random asteroid belt in the designated system and watched the local channel for any enemy names. I remember seeing one as they left their home to head to what might have been our fake meeting for them and excitedly telling everyone on our channel.
“Thanks Maxi, we’ve seen him,” was the reply.
The tension was amazing and I wished I’d invested in a microphoned headset so I could join in the team speak rather than wait for occassional updates in the chat window.
Eventually the order came. GO GO GO! Maxi jumped into system and warped to the target base. The fight had already started, most of my Corps was already there in their Battlecrusiers and Battleships. We numbered 15 or 20, but the enemy seemed to have just as many ships and more were pouring out of the station. It didn’t look good but I didn’t know what good was meant to look like in these situations. Training kicked in, I selected a Battleship one of my corpmates had locked and started hitting them with disruptors, neutralisers and webifiers in the hope it would give my corpmate the edge in destroying them. We emptyed Crimples’ drone bay in the vain hope the tech 1 hobgoblins and hammerheads she housed could be any use as well.
Amazingly the fight seemed to be going ok. No one had attacked Crimples yet and our target was getting hammered by our corpmates. It felt strange playing such a peripheral part in the unfolding drama. Tackling makes you feel like the scrawny kid at school who follows the bully around and stands at the back squawking “Yeah” whenever the bully beats someone up. But at least it wasn’t giving us the attention that Crimples undoubtedly couldn’t handle from the much bigger ships tussling in front of her.
The elation didn’t last long though. Almost as soon as I thought “This is going ok, you know” 4 ships peeled away from the main fight and made a beeline for my slowly orbiting position, setting off warnings and auto-locking as they targeted Maxi’s ship. At first I redirected Crimples’ remaining drones to distract them but they ignored the drones and continued straight for us. As I dithered about whether to warp out and look like a coward or sit tight and hope a better armed corpmate came to my protection, they disrupted Crimples warp drive and left us stranded at the edge of an ever expanding space ruck. As they started to pummel holes in Crimples shields and armour Maxi diverted all capacitor energy to armour tanking and speed. I kept a pleading eye on the effects notices, praying that warp disruptor logo would disappear for long enough to make our retreat, but it never came to pass.
Crimples exploded in a suprisingly oxygen rich fireball of metal, technology, ISK, hopes and dreams. Maxi escaped in a capsule, at least avoiding the ignominy of being replaced by a clone and losing 10s of millions of ISK worth of implants.
The worst thing is I don’t remember whether the mission was much of a success or not. We definitely got some kills but I seem to remember the general feeling being we’d screwed up. I guess that’s a sign of how Real Life was getting in the way of even the most exciting EVE adventures at the time, I wasn’t paying much attention.
Back to the present, I’ve talked to Maxi about getting a new Vexor but he said it wouldn’t be the same, he’d feel like he was cheating on Crimples. I also suggested a cunning plan of getting a Vexor blueprint and building a new one with our own bare hands in honour of Crimples (and selling the others we made for a profit) but the only way to make it profitable was to do all the mineral collecting ourselves which would take about 3000 weeks of mining.
So instead we’ve been looking to bigger and better things. In amongst Maxi’s growing buy and sell listings a purchase order for one Battlecruiser skill popped up and got fulfilled a couple of days ago so Maxi can now pilot the next class of a ship up from Cruisers. He’s got his heart set on a Myrmidon, to take advantage of all those drone skills he learned, but we’ll need about 60 million ISK for the ship alone, nevermind fittings, so it’ll be a minute before he’s rolling in that beauty.
In the meantime Maxi’s wealth has grown to 90 million ISK worth of stock and buy orders so we’re well on our way to target. It’s been so profitable and so easy that I’ve made the decision to actually train an alt to continue trading when Maxi heads off to null-sec. I just couldn’t bring myself to leave the trading life behind. It’s annoying because I’ve wasted time and money training Maxi in trading skills, which we’ll now have to do again with the alt, but it’ll pay off in the long run. Maxi’s accepted sharing wealth with an alt on the promise that they’re working for him, so I can get to work on the alt this week. It might delay hitting our 100 million target while I move stock and funds over and train the new guy up, but we’ll soon have Maxi freed up to go on to newer and more exciting things.
Until next time, fly safe o7