Space Jaunting: Part 1 – Day 4 – The destroyer becomes the destroyed
Hi. Welcome back. How’s it going? Good weekend? What’s that? You want to know how Maxi Foyle, Space Maniac, got on in his final training mission? You want a tour of his new Destroyer class ship with its 8 guns, 2 shield boosters and 3 armour repairers now it’s back from its first combat test? You do?
Maxi blew that up as well.
At least he’d got platinum insurance on it this time (not that that covers all the extra equipment Maxi bought, nor, in fact, the total value of the ship on the current market!) Maxi had purchased 8 Neutron Blasters, 1000s of antimatter ammunition, an improved shield booster and 2 armour repairers for his brand new ship only to splat them all across the cosmos again.
The mission was to take out a known space terrorist who had been seen in the vicinity of a space holiday resort in Maxi’s home from home: the Clellinon VI system. We were warned that the terrorist was packing Warp Disruptors and Stasis Webifiers, gadgets Maxi Foyle, Space Gadgeteer, had just learnt to use himself: The Stasis Webifier slows targeted craft down, and the Warp Disruptor disables their warp drive.
The plan was to warp in, target the terrorist ignoring any support he might have and cover the ground between us and the terrorist using afterburners so that we were in range to use the racks of close range Neutron Blasters stacked across the bow. Then Maxi wouldn’t care if he couldn’t warp out or was slowed down because he’d be aiming 8 Neutron Blasters at the enemy’s hull. Surely it’d be over before we barely got started.
This is what really happened, though: Maxi warped in, saw 3 enemies at about 20km and targeted the terrorist leader. Setting his craft to ‘orbit at 1000m’ Maxi hit the afterburners and started eating up the distance between them. Or a least he did until 10km. Then we were in range of the enemy’s Stasis Webifier and sure enough it slowed us down. In fact it slowed our craft almost to a halt. It was like flying in treacle. All 3 of the enemy crafts could then easily keep Maxi at long-range and started blasting holes in his shields with long-range railguns whilst Maxi’s collection of bristling neutron cannons were useless at such a long-range missing their target time and again.
When Maxi’s shields were gone he changed tactic. We needed to get out of here before this turned into a disaster. Turning tail and trying to get out range of the Warp Disruptor stopping him warping to safety was equally difficult, as he was going so much slower than the terrorist pack. As he tried to escape they just closed the gap and continued to blast chunks out his armour, and then his hull, until nothing was left of Maxi’s brand new destroyer class Catalyst. At least they turned the Warp Disruptor off to allow Maxi’s escape pod to warp home. Another chastening defeat for our sorry space loser.
Maxi spent most of last night in the bar after that defeat, chatting on the local channel to distract him from his troubles and thinking of taking up a peaceful career in space knitting or anything that meant he didn’t have to fight and lose another bloody ship. But then inspiration hit him! A plan arrived, fully formed in his head! Like an inspirational lightening bolt, a diamond tipped neutron blast to the temple! Maxi saw how he could defeat the terrorist, and saw how he could do it, not in million ISK destroyer, but in a cheap frigate designed for exploration. “Computer! Load up the Inquisitive Badger! I’ve got some unfinished space business!”.
Meanwhile on the edge of the Clellinon VI system a space terrorist and his terrorist friends were laughing and chatting about how they blew up a brand new destroyer with 8 guns and chuckling at the misfortunes of the poor pilot within. “What a noob! I felt sorry for the guy, had to let him go after blowing up that ship! Hahahah”. “You’re getting soft you old bastard”. “Ahh, shut up.”
Then a craft blinked into view as it warped in from further within the system. “Hello, what have we got here! More fun my brothers?”. “Err, I think it’s that same guy, boss – Maxi Foyle – only this time he’s in an Imicus….”. “HAHAAHAHAAA! I guess he’s come back for more! Well, we won’t let him warp out this time will we boys? Lets finish this loser off once and for all. Hey what’s that?….”
Maxi sat in his cockpit, clicked ‘keep at 15km’ and started to orbit his target out of range of the Warp Disruptor and Stasis Webifier that caused him so much trouble last time. He was nervous now he was back at the site of his last failure, but at least at this distance he could warp out if things got hairy. Then he clicked one more button: ‘Release drone’. And with that a small attack craft popped out into the vacuum of space with a woosh and immediately set to work, making a beeline for the terrorist leader and buzzing around him slowly shooting away his shields.
Maxi then sat there absorbing their shots using the 2 basic shield repairers he had on board and watched the terrorist leader’s shield, then armour, and finally hull reduce to nothing. With the leader gone Maxi could have warped out and collected his reward but he was having too much fun! He closed the gap on the other 2 terrorists, safe in the knowledge their leaders warp disrupter was destroyed, and helped the drone finish them off using his 1 gun.
Terrorists eventually destroyed, and cargoholds scavenged, Maxi made the jump home with a huge grin on his face. Finally the game had tested him and he’d won! All that talk of tactics and strategy finally made sense! It’s not how big your ship is, or what guns you’re packing, it’s whether you’re smarter than the other pilot!
Tonight Maxi rests whilst I clear out his item warehouse. Everything must go, we’re only taking what can fit in the Inquistive Badger’s hold, for tomorrow, we travel to our new home for the forseeable future: Arnon IX. It’s a long ride, 10 jumps, I think I’ll pack some Drone skill training books for the journey.
See you next time…